oh dear me

Good. I got him out of the house!

I managed to nearly concuss my dear husband putting away our groceries that we now get delivered every 2 weeks. He was putting away the Diet Coke and Perrier in the bottom cupboards, I was putting the soups in the top cupboard. I left the door open and he cracked his head on his ascent. But I smacked his ass while he made that motion and thought to myself, I didn't hit him that hard. Oh wait. He's grabbing his head and just screamed an obscenity. I rubbed his back and started to cry a bit myself because I really hurt him. Then hugged him apologizing an innocuous amount. Clearly I felt terrible.

Then the hypochondriac rears it's ugly 'I think I have a concussion and will die' head. He takes a hot shower and comes out feeling shaky. Starts spreading cream cheese on a bagel, feeling very shaky. "I think I have a concussion," he says. I reply with "you'd feel sleepy and very nauseous. Do you even have a head ache?" "No, not really, it's just tender around the back of my head and around my eyes," "I'm sure you don't have a concussion, I would be fighting you to stay awake if you did,"

"Check my pupils, are they the same size?" he asks 5 minutes later after emerging from the bathroom, after examining his eyes in the mirror. "Yes they're the same size," I insist. "My mother told me that if you have a concussion then your pupils become different sizes," (Another example of Chris' mum indulges his psychoses, bless her.) "I promise you're fine," I keep insisting, crying a bit inside because I've created this monster, entirely by accident.

I then got an email from a job application while Chris was on the computer and I come right over. He says it was good timing because he was about to google 'concussion'. The hell of my own creation. "YOU'RE FINE" I keep repeating however I can't get too pissy with him because I was the one who left the cupboard open.

He just left to go the bank. He asked if I was happy that he was going and I just looked up and smiled and said "I love you," and he left. Now if he keels over on the walk over, I'm going to feel very guilty.