Last post ending was merely a pause. According to my father (first phone call at 1.15pm GMT time), the visitation went well and he was leaving for the airport in 4 hours and would try to catch me then. Second answer phone message at 5.00pm GMT- we're now leaving for the airport, I'll email you. Thanks dad, love your trivial phone messages. But yes, everything is fine re: grandmother. I've been fine except yesterday I was looking at a pair of Alexander Wang sunglasses when a workmate said, oh those look like Dame Edna which always reminded me of my grandmothers as she had this super thick rimmed glasses purchased in the early 70s with rhinestones all around. Apparently it caused a lot of embarrassment for my mother as a teenager but I always thought they were badass.
And this is something that I keep thinking about, I don't know when it started, maybe a year ago...? But I keep thinking about when you die, and your body starts decomposing and it's really frightening me, especially over the past 3 months or so. I'm not afraid to die at all, but I'm so afraid of my body evaporating into nothing. I couldn't care less what would happen to my soul, or not happen, actually that's a lie because I believe in reincarnation but I'm a bit more liberal about it because I don't think my soul will become something else, but I do think I was a cat in a past life because I do love to pet. But I digress, do you follow? Soul needs to be left out of it, it's a mute point. But the physical aspect of bodies rotting. Yes my grandmother is being cremated which is equally as morbid, but I couldn't stop thinking about her glasses and what would happen to them. And if my mother would have to come across them cleaning out her house over the next six months.
Resolution for next week: stop obsessing about death and being so materialistic.
3 comments:
Do you think if your mother found the glasses she would let you have them? All of the things I have from after my g-ma and g-pa passed away have brought me a lot of peace of mind. Sounds weird kinda, but it's great.
Definitely understand what you're saying but I have a weird thing about eyes, and I wouldn't know what to do with them. What did you keep of your grandparents? And do you still have your retainer from when you were younger (if you needed one that is...)
I have a Kangol hat from my g-pa, a winter hat from my g-ma (which had matching mittens that I've since miserably misplaced), one of her leather bookmarks, some brooches, some jewellery and two of her purses. No to the retainers, but I definitely had a few.
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