Cyborg bitch- my new way of describing myself. I can sit in a car and take multiple abuses about my character but someone asks me a valid question and it pushes me over the edge. I lost my nerve today. via email. It's actually rather anti-climatic because I followed the annoyed vent paragraph with an apology for being a turbo bitch however I feel a bit guilty. Sorry Suzy. Blame the jetlag and the 'w' word.
So home. I went, and now have a lapsed jaded perception of the word. I actually have that lost feeling where I don't know which way is up, which again could be attributed to jetlag but it could also be that I'm becoming a bit of a c-u-n-t. At home, I went to visit friends in Toronto which was extremely fun but different. I'm no longer part of that community and not that it's apparent but you can't help but notice the tug.
Feet up I'm thinking about home. And I suppose noticing all those things that were different about it last night made me realise how good it is to be here, and how anal retentive I am. My skewered version now is here. I just wish that my dad hadn't become so sentimental and my mother wouldn't feel so sorry for herself. Maybe what I'm feeling isn't jetlagged but that I'm being yanked in directions that I don't want to go in, but I'm in this car, and even though I am myself, my character isn't there because I can't say anything. Don't mention the word 'schlep' to me either. What a miserable old bint I'm becoming. Or that I slept 7 hours last night, 20 minutes the night before, and 6 hours the night before that. And I can currently hear Chris snoring through the walls.
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