Don't anymore into this than mild procrastination because I'm already on the computer, already listening to music, already removed myself from a prostrate position and am now sitting upright, typing, grooving.
It's actually not so much procrastination as it is waiting for my husband to return home from a hard day's work to spellcheck/life check my re-re-rewriting of my cv. He's been working down the ol' salt mine whilst I've been home, watching Gossip Girl and thinking about stuff. Fair world indeed. But in all seriousness, since hubby is the only one between us two bringing home the bacon (currently, sure not forever), and as no matter how many positive assertions I put into this cosmic earth, my ass keeps getting kicked. And you know, that being said, it's time to bring in the guns. I am Jonas smallest protege. I am also Jonas' supporting act/choir member. We had a horrific experience on Friday night with Carly Simon and Chris' video recorder.
And then Saturday with the lovely Pippa. We both refer to each other as the stress-free female friend. This is because we're both very low maintenance pals. But here is the question I pose: do you have certain friends that no matter what you say, you feel like you're being excessively weird? On Friday night in a full fat Coke state, I was suggesting some Simone de Beauvoir-esque questions, most existential, slightly paranoid, and now they're ringing in my ears. I'm sure Pippa doesn't think that I'm weird but does she maybe?
This is a prime example of how marriage has affected me. In layman's terms: boys schmoys. I no longer really care what they think, it's now all about the female counterpart. Ditch bromance for a moment, let's move on to a new term I've just coined in my head "Obsission" (get it?)
Two problems that arise:
1. I never had loads of girlfriends when I was younger up until now. Maybe 10 but compared to my infinite number of malefriends, none of which were courters, not even close. I'm a boys girl. That being said, I love having a girl that I can confide with, but maybe, just maybe I over-indulged (for myself, I know I'm guarded but likewise can be ungracefully honest).
2. Meeting new girls. I was at a bar with a friend a few weeks ago, she then left and I decided that I wasn't prepared to go home yet and was enjoying the live music so I sat and ordered another glass of wine. Now that being said, I would rather be alone that having to start a conversation with a stranger, but the bartender showed concern for my apparent sadness (I told her I just thinking and enjoying myself) and she called over her Australian friend who was there alone as well. So we chatted for about an hour and all was very lovely. And maybe we'll run into each other again and pick up where we left off, or not. Either way, I guess it's true: you can't meet boys in bars, and now evidently you can't meet girls there either.
Yeah so new mission- stop being weird, stop being paranoid about being weird, stop being paranoid about being paranoid. Do I stand alone here? I'm sorry I have to ask, but am I being rational and is this it, I have indulged too much and am now subject to ridicule and severe judgment for in fact, being weird?
3 comments:
I think I get this. But I'm not sure if I get it in the same way. Hmm.
I've never really been a female friend fanatic. I actually haven't had a really secure and reliable relationship with a female since gradeschool. I guess I'm like you being the whole "boy's girl". I've been that way for ages.
Anyhoo- there are many friends that make me feel awkward and weird. There are quite a few people that when I'm around them I have a constant foot in mouth disease. So if that's what you feel. Holy hell I feel it too. I don't even have to do something awkward just in their company it becomes awkward.
Then it gets worse and snowballs because the next time I see them I feel the need to make up for my awkwardness ohhhh gah.
I do much better when things just flow naturally... ick.
Hilarious. Thing is that I adore my friend Pippa, she's such a wonderful girl and she's anything but judgmental towards me. But I think that because I have really only male friends, that when I get together with her and confide, I say things in a manner that I would say to boys, i.e. slightly ironic, a bit awkward and charming. Usually with boys it comes across as endearing, I think I need to remember my audience.
And it's all very ironic because you and I keep having great conversations and insights via the internet. And you know, we're both girls and stuff.
So true! haha
I think girls have a weird way of making me nervous. (This could all be in my head haha)
Boys take things differently. (Like ya said) There's a different kind of judgement maybe? I dunno.
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