presumably

I have this awful stomach ache right now. It's as if I drunk half a pint of bleach (I haven't
rest assured. How I feel is an assumption of how it would feel to drink half a pint of bleach).

I'm a bit confused as well because I hear the clock in our kitchen ticking, except the battery died last week. And no, rest assured, it's not the assumed sound of my typing that I think is the ticking.

Maybe I haven't been drinking bleach but rather, sniffing glue.

That's a falsity as well. But I did only eat half a salad this evening for dinner before feeling so full and sick to my stomach. Assumably, I'm getting Chris' flu.