Firstly. I want to stop falling into a deep sleep until 11.30am, dreaming how awful a mother I will be. I have had about 10 dreams in the past month where I keep having children I can't care for and end up being a neglectful, terrible mother. This morning, I had a baby and I tugged it along with me everywhere I went because one day I was pregnant, the next the baby was born and I didn't have time to buy a pram. Then I moved to Brooklyn to be the father (can't say who that was).
Last month I had a dream that Chris and I had a baby together but we were too afraid to tell his parents so we hid it in our flat whilst we all went out of the day. Then we had to make an excuse for why they couldn't come in a cup of tea.
I blame this on the 'octomom effect'. I've had well over 8 neglected dream babies now and I'm well sick of it. Is it possible for me to have that I take care of and care for, where I don't pretend it doesn't exist? I also hope this isn't my biological clock ticking. Like I tell everyone who goes 'oh you're married, when are you having children?', yeah 5 years. So don't hold your breath.
Next, I thought Paris Hilton brushing up against my boob was an omen, evidently not the case thus far. So now, I'm the harbinger of my own luck, therefore I'm taking up all of my friend Jonas' advice and writing a short bio to go with my new CV to send via recorded delivery as opposed to anonymous email. Of course wording is paramount but I want to convey the message that I'm bright, confident, enthusiastic, harbouring of great ideas etc. But when I try to write it out, it's just so self-indulgent and/or sounding ironic. That is the affect of this country. You can't sound positive without sounding fake. Any suggestions what I can say without sounding sycophantic about myself?
I blame this on the 'Woody Allen' effect. I've had well over 1000 experiences playing the self-effacing neurotic Jew type and now dream of blonder pastures and enthusiastic written passages. Seriously any suggestions at all?
2 comments:
Ok the baby dreams are kinda wonky. Are you scared at all about parenthood or nervous about it? Hmm.
In terms of what to say for your CV... it's a tough one.
You could potentially throw in a "At risk of sounding self indulgent, I think I'm really hip". Yeah... whatever I'd say would be lame too haha
Hmmm, not exactly the message I'm trying to convey. That can be a starting point and I'll work from there.
And I have no idea what these dreams mean. I'm not really nervous about parenthood, not am I scared that I am indeed pregnant. I now think it's my subconscious telling me to wake up before 10am to get stuff done- otherwise I'm going to be punished.
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